Developing Healthy Hearts

Create in me a clean heart, O God. Psalm 51:10
Not surprisingly, I have sustaining interest in heart health. Healthy eating, lifestyle changes, and medications have become a lasting part of my daily routine. As we turn our 2014 calendar to the month of February, there is always a resumption of cultural interest involving hearts.

Marcus Borg, in his book The Heart of Christianity: Rediscovering A Life of Faith, explores the many metaphors associated with the heart, especially “closed” versus “open” in the Bible. The
Bible also describes the heart as “fat,” “proud,” and “made of stone.” Each metaphor seems to describe a condition, or a way of being that you may have noticed in yourself or in others.

When our hearts are closed, other senses suffer, like sight and hearing. Self-centered hearts neither see nor hear very well.

Closed hearts also can affect the mind. We tend to believe our own deceptions. This is always easier
to recognize in others than in ourselves. But our lack of understanding and a darkened mind result
quickly from a closed heart.
Remember the story of the Exodus? What did God do to Pharaoh’s heart? It was hardened and
Pharaoh refused to set the Hebrews free. Many times Pharaoh can live very well within us, enslaving us to seek only the desires of our own hearts.

Closed hearts lack gratitude. When blessed by success, closed heart persons often feel self-made and entitled; when life seems to be tragic, feelings of bitterness and “being cheated” reign.

Wonder and awe seems to disappear from the world when our hearts are closed.

Closed hearts forget God easily. We lose connection with the source of life and being.

A closed heart almost always seeks exile. Already self-preoccupied and turned inward, it
disconnects from a larger reality.

Closed hearts lack compassion. Often in the Bible, compassion is seen as the ability to feel the
feelings of another at a level lower than one’s head. It is a gut reaction to act in empathy and
respond. A closed heart can be charitable, but it does not feel the suffering of others.

Without compassion, the closed heart is insensitive to injustice.
There is not just one measure of hardness in a heart. Much like the examination of arteries for
blockages, there can be a spectrum of hardness. Severely hard hearts are likely to associated with
violence, brutality, arrogance, and a rapacious, world-devouring greed. The milder forms of these
conditions are judgmentalism, insensitivity, self-centeredness, and even ordinary (and seemingly benign) self-interest.

Throughout a given day, I know I have experienced both open and closed and in between
conditions of the heart. Life can throw so many curve balls and unexpected grief or joy in just a
single afternoon on a random Tuesday.

Perhaps some time of self-examination is needed to evaluate the condition of your spiritual
heart. It may not be as advanced as modern medical cardiology, but in this month of hearts,
maybe a review would help diagnose a spiritual illness from a closed heart condition.

Review your senses. Are you truly seeing and hearing? Do you take the self-talk of yourself at
face value, like an endless feedback loop?

Do you lack gratitude, but excel in entitlement?

Is life just ordinary, with no wonder or awe?

Do you remember God daily?

Have you withdrawn from much of your life?

Do you have trouble seeing the suffering of others around you?

It will take more than Aspirin, beta-blockers, or statins to cure a closed spiritual heart. Some may find relief and treatment in a community of faith like a church, synagogue, or other religious affiliation. Others may find it a study or accountability group.

The Cosmic Significance or Amazing Coincidence of May 17 in My Life

"It could mean that that point in time inherently contains some sort of cosmic significance. Almost as if it were the temporal junction point for the entire space-time continuum. On the other hand, it could just be an amazing coincidence."- Dr. Emmett Brown, Back to the Future II

May 17 comes and goes every year. But for me, it seems to have either cosmic significance or amazing coincidence in turning points in my life.

My first kiss was delivered by someone whose birthday is May 17.
My first college graduation was held on May 17.
My Masters of Divinity Degree from Christian Theological Seminary was presented to me on May 17, ten years after my first college degree, almost to the exact hour!
Our family friend contractor also has a birthday on... you guess it, May 17.
Several of my dear friends celebrate their birthday with my family friend contractor... May 17.

I take a wary eye towards May 17, 2018... is an unknown doctorate to be presented on that future date?  It happens to be a Thursday...

For me, the jury is out on my temporal junction point for the entire space-time continuum or an amazing coincidence...

God, Churches, and Nash Metropolitans

Many of you are aware of my love affair with a piece of Anglo-American engineering from the

1950s. In our single car garage rests our 1959 Nash Metropolitan, a guaranteed head-turner of

automobile history.
 

The Metropolitan was developed by Nash in the post World War II era as the first compact car

to be marketed as a second car for suburban housewives. While father went to work in the
family Nash Ambassador, mother would be able to pick up small children, groceries, etc. during the
day in a second vehicle that would average 35 mpg, literally pennies per gallon (back when fuelcosts were at most 17¢).

Metropolitans remained part of the line-up after the merger between Nash and Hudson to
form American Motors Company (with George Romney as president), and were designed by an
American, William Flajole, built in Longbridge, England (where Austins and MGs were already
made), and imported for the showroom price of $1495. They were built between 1954-1961, before
Romney eliminated the line for the more popular and profitable Rambler.

There is much to love about owning a Metropolitan. It is a guaranteed car show crowd

pleaser. When I picked up our vehicle from a high ridge in Missouri and my brother was towing it
home, he was amazed at the numbers of car horns, women waving and guys giving thumbs up to a car best described as what happens when a Bel-Air and a bathtub get together. Its z stripe division of paint, continental spare tire on the rear, and sparse interior gives major points to its "cute" appeal.

There is much to hate about owning a Metropolitan. It has a British engine, which
guarantees oil leakage. No power steering, so turning is like docking the Titanic. Wiring was by
Lucas, also known as Prince of Darkness for its odd electrical faults. Original wiring system includes a
generator and a positive-ground system. Its braking system is a single cylinder, drum brakes. Metropolitans hate cold weather to start in, and with Illinois winters can be expected to demand winter quarters for several weeks. Early models (before 1959) did not have access to the rear trunk except through the rear bench "seat," which has limited head room to begin with for accommodating more than three passengers.

I wonder if my Nash Metropolitan is like how people outside the church view God and churches.

They think of God and church as relics of a by-gone era. Some concepts of God seem as quaint as a
1950s car: nice to look at but I would not want to live that way. Some concepts of church may feel
that way, as many congregations strain resources in trying to keep a 1950s General Motors style of
governance running. What current industry leader still divides the work among "functional" committees, with chair persons (only recently updated from chairman in the previously mimeographed copies of constitutions and by-laws).

Some people do seem to even attend church as if it was a vintage car show. Come see the

Christmas service for a flashback to nostalgia! Join Grandma, or Grandpa for the Easter Sunday
service, singing the same hymns as you did when you were a child!

I do not believe that either church or God are relics of a by-gone era. Metropolitans may have
had their time on America’s roadways, but it does not mean that transportation is no longer needed. The same is true with the church. In a world hungry for meaning, and purpose, the gospel of Jesus Christ still leads each of us forward. Maybe door-to-door distribution of salvation materials are like tailfins added to a Toyota Prius, but sharing your faith struggles is still a powerful stimulus to others.

Maybe the church is guilty of “selling” Nash Metropolitans versions of God and church in a

Toyota Prius world. We are answering questions that no one even asks anymore. We are
questioning things that no one even questions now. In this season of Easter, may we be reminded
that God is living with, for, and calling us ahead to be not relics but living examples of God's love for all

The "Adventing" Season

"So who is adventing this Sunday?" asked one of my congregation members.

For a moment, I had to chuckle. Adventing? Like the season of Advent is now a verb? "So, what did you do today?"  "Oh, I did a few errands and some adventing..."

Now before there is some confusion with a denomination, the Seventh Day Adventists, or something involving them, the question referred to who was the assigned readers for this Sunday's Advent Wreath ceremony.  The four candles in the wreath represent four Sundays until Christmas and carry the title of hope, peace, joy, and love. The center candle is the Christ candle. Advent is a liturgical season of waiting, hoping, expecting. Less somber than the season of Lent (the season prior to Easter), but more serious than Common Time (a terrible title for the time between Pentecost Sunday and Christ the King Sunday), Advent is not just a time to remember the coming of Christ as a babe, but more importantly, the coming of Christ now and in the future.

The meaning of Advent is coming, arriving, or appearing. It is a forward leaning season, even as it turns backward towards Christ's earthly birth. It is best practiced as a season of anticipation. I know I have shared before my tradition of the traveling nativity figurines of the Butterick household. None of the pieces arrive at the same time.  Joseph and Mary arrive on Christmas Eve Day. Baby Jesus arrives Christmas Eve evening. The wise men arrive at the nativity on January 6, the day of Epiphany.

Each Sunday is a moment to recognize what is coming, arriving, or appearing. In the darkest of nights, hope still arrives.  In the midst of wars, fights, and troubles, peace still arrives. In the midst of sadness, joy still arrives. In the midst of hatred, love still arrives. Advent helps remind us that we have not arrived but are arriving.  We are journeying along the paths of becoming, arriving, or appearing.

Beyond Advent Sundays, we may recognize other moments and occasions of coming, arriving, or appearing. Two people coming together into a relationship. Arriving at a new place. Appearing in an unexpected role or accomplishment. Life can easily been seen as an extended train of coming, arriving, or appearing.

So perhaps my congregation member was not incorrect in "adventing" this season. Maybe it is good to think of this time not as a moment to be still (although rest is just as important as action) but rather a time of coming, arriving and appearing. I think we all could call it "adventing."

May your "adventing" season be blessed with moments of coming, arriving, and appearing.

Pacing Intervention

It has been a while since I have placed an update on my cardiovascular situation. To be as simple as possible: stable, but unimproved. My doctor stated that it is still "weak," and recommended a visit to the cardiologist. The cardiologist, in turn, recommended further intervention via an ICD, or an Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillator. With my weakened, post-heart attack heart, I am more likely to develop sudden cardiac arrest or a sudden rapid heart beat or arrhythmia. Either would likely result in death.

Needless to say, faced with additional intervention or death, I chose invention. An ICD was placed on my left side, just next to my arm. Leads were extended via an artery to my left, damaged side of my heart. It does have pacemaking capabilities, but is basically on stand-by until either situation actually develops. Apparently my heart attack's location is really close to the area where the electrical charge is generated, hence the greater risk of an unexpected electrical fault.

I know it is there, and ready to respond, which has brought some peace of mind. But like many survivors, I still have anxious moments whenever "something" feels funny in the chest. I can be thankful that such technology is now available, making life-threatening conditions treatable and manageable. It is truly amazing that my heart, though enlarged as a result of injury, continues to function as best as it can. I am still making the changes necessary for best outcomes, and hope that this "new" normal is part of my life for a long time.

For more information about ICD: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/icd/

Marriage takes more than buying Chicken Sandwiches...

There has been a lot of attention on chicken sandwiches and marriages. More importantly, owners of a large chicken franchise that utilizes its profits to support political causes they desire to support and whose views they endorse. It seems to have come to a shock to some that your money may be used to support causes or views which you may not endorse. Call it the law of unintended consequences, but Dollar Almighty does have a way of going in directions many would like for it not to go.

My question? How many marriages have a chicken sandwich purchase saved?

It is truly ironic in the fullest sense when the leading group with divorces (Evangelical conservative "Christians"), is full of defense and bluster about defending the "sanctity of marriage."  Something Jesus said comes to mind... something about specks and logs... I can't remember...

Another question. If marriage needs to be "protected," why have I not heard a word about a statewide divorce ban?  Many divorces are filed as "no-fault." Should it not be made more difficult to walk out of such a serious commitment?

Please do not misunderstand me. People who are in destructive relationships and are in life-threatening circumstances should not be required to remain with a destructive or dangerous person. Domestic violence is real, and should never tolerated.

A larger issue than marriage is here. I would call it "bumper sticker" causes. "We Support Our Troops." "I love my country, but do not trust my government." And the list could continue. You encounter them literally on the road, in windows. It is usually a pointed one-liner that puts in stark terms a complex issue into a simple punch line.

It is easy to put a sticker espousing patriotism on a personal car. It is more difficult to visit a Veterans Administration Hospital to see the actual victims of foreign policy and international war. And unfortunately there is a pattern of overwhelmed, understaffed, and underfunded treatment of returning "heroes" throughout the VA system.

It is easy to show up at a popular fast food place to stand for "marriage." It is more difficult to sustain a long term relationship with someone who is unwilling to keep it.

Our society and culture loves a quick and easy fix. Our world thrives on get it now, get it quick, get it done solutions. The problem with this get-it-quick solutions is that they rarely satisfy in the long term. Besides, if the problem was truly simple, it would be simply solved. My experience with relationships between human beings is that things are always more complicated than they seem. It is easier to forward an e-mail that says you love Jesus, God, country, candidate, but it is more difficult to actually live it.

And that is where I always try to live my beliefs and values. Not on the back of my car. Nor on a shirt sleeve or through my wallet. But from within my heart, informing my life and its work.

There will always be things to get angry about. And anger is not wrong, it's an emotion. But emotions tend to go somewhere. Too many people are angry about the wrong things. A bad referee call, slow restaurant service, long lines. I have noticed in life that those who rarely get bothered by such fleeting events are those fully alive and involved in fighting true injustices in our society and world: hunger, homelessness, addictions.

I hope whatever meaningful relationship you are in, it takes more than buying a chicken sandwich to defend.

After Heart Attack: One Year Later

Today is an odd sort of "anniversary" for me. It is one year since my heart attack. I've written about it before on this blog, so the details can be revisited, if needed. The basics of the story is that I was then a 35 year old who woke up that Friday morning not feeling "right," and ended up having one stent placed in the left side of my heart before sundown on July 15, 2011. I was also told that my quick action and response saved my life.

The last 365 days have been transformative. From no medications to four. From invincibility to mortality. From calm to panic. From shock to acceptance. My family history is riddled with stories of those who have died from heart attack and/or heart disease. These last 365 days have created a strange and new chapter in the family tree: a heart attack survivor.

Let's not go into the odd version of hell that is the US health care insurance industry that seems to willfully punish illness and is unwilling to pay for unexpected or unplanned treatment (like I could plan a heart attack?!). Thankfully, that chapter is also fading away.

As life moves on at its seemingly unstoppable one-day-at-a-time pace, I find myself seeing temptation of running once again fast and hard and as much as possible calling to me. Our "get it quick" and "get it now" society seems hell-bent on its own self destruction, leaving victims in its wake. Thankfully, I at least notice the warning signals of "too much" and find myself stopping before I'm once again do-it-all, be-it-all and on a fast track to another heart issue.

My healthy habits are improving once again, and I am willing to focus on that at the cost of other important (but not life-giving) matters or issues. Medications seem to be keeping things under control, although more healthy lifestyle changes cannot hurt (and perhaps can eliminate some medications altogether at some point).

One year later, it is an odd fraternity to be in as a heart attack survivor. I know many more survivors that I ever expected. I can truly say from experience that every little pain or odd sensation can send a terrifying panic into the mind. Many have said to me that you will never get completely rid of that from your psyche. I also know that much of life is how you embrace living, and if you have reason (or reasons) to live, will power is a powerful counter.

Sure, 2011 was a bit of a setback in my health and life. But it did not take either health or life fully away from me. I live with its consequences now and for the rest of my life. But there is life after life-threatening conditions. It can take one's life, and this past year is also filled with stories in which many loved ones have had that most precious gift taken from their lives and families.

In the midst of death, there is also life. In the midst of darkness, there is also light. Broken, yet whole. Hurt, yet healed.

Happy anniversary to Jason's heart. Let's keep moving together.